dizzy up the girl

tsokolate

2009-02-16T12:06:00.002+08:00

kulay lupa
masarap at matamis
matigas pag malamig
at pag mainit natutunaw

gusto kong iukit ang iyong pag ibig

sa lupang kulay tsokolate
masarap at matamis mong panata
ako'y naninigas at natutunaw
halong init at lamig

disillusionment

2009-02-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

pag sinabi mong bukas na ang iyong mata
ay nangangahulugang nakapikit ka nga
nananaginip
nagbubulagbulagan

sabi mo pa hindi
na totoo ka
pero nananaginip ka din
sinungaling

kuskos

2009-02-03T22:52:00.003+08:00

para kuminis

pota nagpapakadeep nanaman ako. wala naman kinahihitnan.

nakikinig ako a.p. at b.b. ngayon.

sino ang tama?

biktima

2009-02-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

bakit
bakit
nakakailang
ang tunog
ng sigaw
ng biktima

groundhog day

2009-02-02T21:11:00.002+08:00

watched groundhog day at groundhog day!
and noah and abraham were brothers

ironies.

this is probably my last

2009-02-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

phone call
goodbye
happy moment with you

new song

2009-01-08T00:33:00.001+08:00

I need a new song.

and a favorite movie.

back to the habit

2009-01-08T00:29:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with me? I just can't seem to make up my mind. I need something to point me to the right direction.

I hate broken things...i hate our broken washing machine. T_T

But I guess that's okay, to get my mind off of things.

I'm hungry.

last few hours of 2008

2008-12-31T18:20:00.002+08:00

I am extremely lucky ;)
on any other day i'd say otherwise.
But i seriously am.

I mean im no superstar. Im not even rich or beautiful. But I am happy. I have friends, i;m not so sure which one of them will last, but i'm just grateful they're here right now. Plus our house is sparkly clean so I'm extremely glad ;)

My mom is happy and healthy, my family is dysfunctional but we love each other.

I'm healthy except for my infected toe.

I love my sisters. si jonas pa o! kahit gusto ko siya sakalin most of the time.

I just hope.....la lala lala

ok, im done. baka masunog pa ulam namin ;)

~elmo

bug

2008-12-31T18:14:00.001+08:00

fooling around.

just hate and love this feeling.

must be around.

just wondering if you do to.

security seems underrated.

not by our brains but by our guts.

i hate dots.

and today we have a big one.

Band Name

2008-12-28T04:59:00.002+08:00

I read this short story written in Heights and found this phrase I found very interesting. Boss said it seems nice as a band name.

am keeping my fingers crossed. Won;t reveal it so I won;t jinx it.

Janjun and roldan replied to my greetings! Im so glad! sana matuloy jamming soon. Si tochi nlng.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tagaytay was weird and fun. Gone horse back riding which I've dreamed of since I was a kid. Pag-ibig yung name ng kabayo. Highlight ng gabi ko un, though i really wished ung highlight ay yung bonding moments namin ng mga pinsan ko. Kaso matanda na kami. Parang may sarisarili na kaming mundo. Or baka ako lang un. hahaha.

~~~~~~~~~~

Why blog. Wala lang. tinulugan ako ni pam eh.

:(

SAna maging ok lahat.
whheee!!

Ride

2008-12-28T04:08:00.002+08:00

This past few week has been one roller coaster ride
with the churning stomach and dizzy head
bright lights making lines on that dark blue canvass
and the exhilarating circles of ups and downs

I'm currently going down
Scared as hell
But oh well
Here we go

Finally.

bounty hunting

2008-11-17T22:31:00.003+08:00

for lack of a better term, I am officially a geek.

Dont ask why. I dont have any plans on telling. I wish I lived in a 1st world country sometimes where i'd have my hollywood story. But hey I'm having fun cleaning up the mess of people who live THE life of kingpins!!!

Well anyways, life is wonderfully bland. Better put on some salt and spices cause this lady is off to a freakin' bounty hunt. The wanted villain? None other than ________. (Didn't think I was gonna spill did ya?)

It's time to put my game face on cause this time, I'm gonna get my hands dirty, if you know what I mean. If only my boss would be a little less annoying I'd be more subtle, but I guess I'd have to be a little bit more aggressive, time is ticking! Subtle is boring anyways.

Cheers! (I'd treat you if I get my reward!)

Rae Marle
Dated November 17

dead end

2008-10-18T23:55:00.002+08:00

when you realize you're in love, you usually feel happy. But sometimes it's hard to be happy when you know it's a dead end.

i'm starting to hate how you make me feel

2008-10-14T02:44:00.002+08:00

i f*cked up my day today
and i would blab about it to you
but hey,
you don't care, do you?

drunk

2008-10-14T02:33:00.002+08:00

i smell white roses
the kind you never give me
unless you've done something wrong

and i would act surprised
and say you're still as sweet
as the day we met

and that i will love you
forever

and my wasted heart will love you

2008-10-12T00:56:00.002+08:00

...i just wanted to tell you that
because it's Christmas
and everyone tells the truth when it's Christmas

paalam aking bulalakaw

2008-10-07T23:23:00.001+08:00

though i am still hoping against the universe
that you will fall this way again

the most beautiful thing

2008-10-07T17:49:00.004+08:00

At half past 5 this afternoon,
Just before the rain poured and the darkness sunk in,
Everything was yellow.

I recently removed my blue curtains,
Just so that i could wash them clean,
And I opened my window blinds,
Just to let the room breathe.

And there I was lying down on my bed,
swimming in the last rays of the sun
which entered through my window
listening to the sound of the people outside

Through the yellow I could see the silhouettes
Of the mutant ants marching along the vines
Which have grown on our house rails
Unattended, overlooked, forgotten.

salisi

2008-10-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

I loved it when we were on the same side of the bed.

oh stupid! that never happened.

Bad News - Owen

2008-10-07T02:17:00.001+08:00

whatever it is you think you are
you aren't:
a good friend, unique, well-read
good-looking, or smart
well now you know

and I hate to be the one to bear such bad news
I know it hurts to hear
but it's true
you don't mean anything
to anyone but me
and even I think
that you're blinded by conceit
well now you know

free beer
and basement shows
don't mean you've made it
it's what you do
not who you were, or what you wear, or where you've been
so do something

whoever you think is watching you dance
from across the room
they aren't
if anything, they feel sorry for you
'cause you try so hard

And I know it's mean to say
but it's something I've been meaning to say to you
for a while
you're a has-been
that never was
I know it hurts to hear
but it's the truth
so you might as well hear it
from a friend
you're a has-been
that never was
or will be

~~~~~~~~~~

and that last line which talks of hope
I will hold it firmly and try my best not to let go.

just as the song goes:

catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
never let it fade away...

apology letter

2008-10-07T02:11:00.002+08:00

It is with the most respectful tone that I write to you
my sincerest apology for acting the way I did,
for saying the things I said.

There is no amount of guilt that could absolve me of what I have done.
But know that I am anguished with the prospect of not having you with me,
for I have offended you in the gravest of manners.

with much love and affection,
yhbtnw

love letter

2008-10-07T01:56:00.002+08:00

You know how i wonder how the person who could make you feel most alive is the very person who could make you feel you'd want nothing more than to die.
And that person is you. It has always been you.

And woe to me who realized too late.
I am always late - perhaps my biggest flaw.

You were an addiction I tried to cure.
I almost did.

It is only now that i find myself grasping for breath,
Not knowing what I should do next.

And I suddenly wonder how we got here.

I hope we always were
A would-be

sana sana sana

2008-10-04T01:37:00.001+08:00

gigising ako bukas ng maaga
para maabutan ka

i think i know what i am going to do with my life

2008-09-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna be the best mayor in the Philippines.

And of course the best songwriter in town.

happy birthday papa

2008-09-08T01:58:00.003+08:00

happy birthday papa. I miss you even though i hadn't really met you.
I sometimes hope you were alive. At other times i think if you had lived may be life would be miserable.

Early last week I was happy. For a few days I was content and was laughing again. I had the time to walk without thinking I was wasting my time.

That seems like ages ago.

Right now, I wish you were here.

~your daughter

coping

2008-09-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:00:35 PM): you know, it's nice to look at pictures
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:00:38 PM): and memories
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:00:44 PM): and it's also sad
marv (9/7/2008 10:00:48 PM):(
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:00:49 PM): makes you want to go back
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:00:54 PM): but you just can't
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:01:03 PM): and you hate yourself for doing some of the things you did
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:01:10 PM): but tehy're there
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:01:26 PM): forever written in your brain...
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:01:33 PM): memories just swimming around your brain
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:01:42 PM): regrets
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:01:55 PM): i hate movies
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:02:31 PM): makes you believe life is a sequence of events
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:02:41 PM): but life is just this one big mess
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:03:19 PM): nothing clear about it...it's just one big mess
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:03:30 PM): and you just drown in everything
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:03:36 PM): i wish i could undo certain things
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:04:01 PM): like you...i hope i can undo you...i hope i can undo a lot of things...but may be these are how things should be...
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:04:16 PM): that may be God wants this to happen
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:04:33 PM): may be this is what should happen
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:04:52 PM): and that regrest are nothing more than stupid thoughts of an alternative universe
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:05:00 PM): may be
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:05:07 PM): what ifs are stupid you know
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:05:20 PM): but how they could overwhelm us all
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:05:38 PM): i hate myself for being overwhelmed by them
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:06:29 PM): i hope i didnt go there, that i was just from another place...that i was in an accident, that i was not there
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:06:41 PM): that i didnt go back
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:06:54 PM): that i didnt meddle with things
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:07:14 PM): that i wasnt involved...or that i just didnt care...
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:07:19 PM): that oi wasnt too proud
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:07:25 PM): that i just didnt interfere
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:07:39 PM): but may be, just may be it was all good that way
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:07:43 PM): cause now we know
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:07:58 PM): now we know what the problem is
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:08:03 PM): and we were in the best place
paeng_160 (9/7/2008 10:08:16 PM): best place to fix it

2008-09-01T12:37:00.002+08:00

At a glance, one can never tell that Rafaela
1. Is a magnet for bad luck, having three near death experiences in just twelve short months.
2. Is an upcoming Broadway actress, who had starred in three spectacular musicals.
3. Is a genius, who had effortlessly perfected several mind-numbing Ma11 long exams.
4. Is a devoted catechist, loved by all her kids.
5. Is the embodiment of lateness, always arriving in class five to fifteen minutes after the second bell.
6. Is an artist, with a talent for playing bass guitar, directing, poetry and song writing, drawing and even acting.
7. Is a modern-day reformist and a family-oriented Filipino.
8. Is the epitome of magis, talent and dedication. Calling her a “superwoman” would be such an understatement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyone can always say that she is very artistic in every sense of the word, passionate in her commitments, shows a very critical but open mind, has been occasionally on bad terms with Lady Luck and has been unintentionally avoiding Cupid’s arrow, and so on.

However, many fail to see that in between her heartfelt singing, unwavering devotion to studies, occasional rants, critical speeches and childish conversations is also that sudden pause, an empty gaze she makes from time to time – a short but meaningful silence no one can ever fathom. For after all is already said, what really matters is to dwell in the depths of her silence; and to ask who this girl really is is to realize that there is only one definitive answer: she is none other than the girl named Rafaela.

finale

2008-08-15T13:51:00.001+08:00

para akong nagsara ng isang napakagandang libro.
hiniling kong wag muna ito matapos
na mabuhay pa ako sa mundong nakapaloob sa mga pahina nito
pero isa isa silang nauubos

paalam aking bulalakaw.

2008-06-12T22:11:00.003+08:00

Hi guys!

I'd like to invite you to join me in supporting the Philippine Freedom of Information Act currently pending in the senate. Freedom of Information laws help fight corruption by guaranteeing public access to government information and records.

The country needs our help to ensure the Freedom of Information Act is passed in 2008, before the start of campaigning in 2009. Please show our legislators you support the act by taking a few seconds to sign the online petition here: http://satotootayo.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Rafaela David
Truth Committee
Team RP

10512000

2008-05-16T22:44:00.004+08:00

With some proverbial love
He will come

But what can one do?
This is not what you look for.

For the longest minutes you twist and turn
as you lay down
thinking of the 20 years you spent
looking, not finding? finding, not looking?

But you were always looking...
for whatever comes
and you thought you would know
somehow

OJT New blog

2008-04-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

I'm posting my OJT updates in my multiply blog from now on!
haha!

http://dizzygirl160.multiply.com/journal/

OJT Day 1 ++

2008-04-18T00:00:00.002+08:00

I started my OJT in ACED earlier today. It was really fun and of course a bit tiring. It started out a bit boring since I just assisted Nat in a report she was writing. After lunch Karen and I met up with Sir Joel who briefed us about what we were expected to accomplish after our OJT. We were basically tasked to plan and head the Brigada Eskwela, a yearly project that aims to help public schools in Metro Manila in maintaining their equipments and facilities. Moreover, we were supposed to help out with Mam Maria's project: e-Kasi QC!

After our briefing, Nat, Karen, Shan and I started planning for the Brigada Eskwela. I got to head the logistics committee, but we were all going to help out in each other's committees. We basically have to coordinate with different people, manage the expenses, plan the event, call for volunteers, etc. We finished up with the list of tasks we have to accomplish for our project, and made up a timetable for them.
We also finalized our theme for this year's Brigada Eskwela: Bayanihan.

Other than that, we were asked to do reports on different public schools. Sir Joel asked Karen and I to go to the Basic Education Office located in the Ateneo High School complex. Ms. Janet asked us to do a report (after 'mistakingly' letting us do community service work) on Imbunia Elementary High School based on the survey sheets, interview transcripts and participant observations that their researchers conducted in the area.

Mam Mai also asked me to go to Nueva Ecija as ACED representative next Monday-Tuesday for the Manumbalik Muli Program.

PS: we were supposed to keep documentation of our experiences on the job. I still plan to make a blog specifically for this though I don't yet have the time.

AFTER: Team RP Work

But work doesn't stop there.
ELi and I had to go to Ateneo law School for our Team Rp meeting where we presented our researches on the Freedom to Information Law. After which we presented the script we were going to use for the streetplay. They said it was ok and Harvey told me: good job! yey! but it still needs to be edited. well at least the main storyline was approved.

We still need to prepare another script for the transparency bottle line up. I hope we can finish all these by sunday.

Other tasks:
-Sir paul zialcita asked us to go to Penguin Bar in Malate to meet some of the Why Not? people and other musicians and artists in his circle.
-Attend Meeting of some supporters of the FOI and Senator Bong revilla next tuesday which I might not be able to attend because I have to go to Nueva Ecija for aced.
-Find volunteers for the streetplays
-Fix the background music/ minus one for the streeplay.
-finalize venues for streetplay

ACIL:
-meet with other formations head to plan our projects
-Katekit

Assembly:
-CIP
-consti
-projects
-contact database

I need a break.

I am Change, Are You?

2008-04-16T16:22:00.000+08:00

I am Change, Are You?
By: Harvey S. Keh

Last March, I was very fortunate enough to be invited to be the Commencement Speaker of Western Mindanao State University (WMSU) in Zamboanga City, one of the biggest state universities in the Philippines. During my brief stay at WMSU, I was able to have a session with 30 of their student leaders who are leading their student council and other student organizations in their school. During this session, I started with a question, I asked them, Who among you here still believes and supports President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo? Around 10 of them raised their hands. Then, I asked again, Who among you here wants the President to resign and step down? Around 14 of them raised their hands. I pressed on and asked again, Who among you here is still undecided? 6 of them raised their hands. Finally, I asked again, Who among you here wants Change and Reforms in our Country and Government?

All of them raised their hands.

When I got back to Manila, I did the same activity with about 25 student leaders from Miriam College in Quezon City, one of the top schools here in Metro Manila. I got the same response from them, 7 were supporting President Arroyo, 12 wanted her to resign/step-down while 6 were undecided. When I asked them who wants change and reform in our Country and Government, all of them raised their hands as well.

What am I trying to say through these two stories and experiences with these Filipino Youth Leaders in our country?

a.) Yes, our country is divided right now in how we view President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. You have on one side, a group supporting President Arroyo despite all the anomalies, allegations of corruption and scandals that has rocked her administration. On the other side, you have groups and highly-influential leaders which have called for her immediate resignation and ouster from power. This then leaves us with a political stalemate since President Arroyo is not weak enough to fall while the Groups calling for her ouster and resignation are not strong enough to push her out.

b.) However, it seems that judging from my experiences in dealing with these student leaders, the people I talk to and the emails I get from Filipinos from here and abroad everyone wants to see Change and Reform in our Government. We are all united in wanting to see positive and lasting change and reforms in our Government.

That is why I think that if we want to be able to help in bringing our nation together towards a common vision which helps move our country forward then this unity should not be based on certain personalities like President Arroyo or our other Government Leaders. Rather, we need to join and work together towards working for concrete and lasting reforms in our Government Institutions that would eventually make it more responsive to the needs of the poor and powerless in our communities.We need to work together towards building, strengthening and transforming our democratic institutions. For example, Isn't it sad that we now have to face a growing Food Crisis when we were once one of the world's top Agricultural countries? This is an indirect effect of the 1 Billion Fertilizer Scam that was allegedly used to fund the election expenses of President Arroyo and her allies. If this 1 Billion Peso Fertilizer Fund together with other government funds was used properly and for the right purpose then we might not have to face this crisis now or if we do, the effect wouldn't be as big as we are facing now.

As such, I'd like to invite every Filipino based here and abroad to join us at Team RP as we try to develop a proactive and dynamic movement that is built and organized primarily by ordinary Filipinos like you and me whose only vested interests is to be able to contribute his time, skills, talents and resources towards pushing for Truth, Accountability and Reform in our Government. How? Allow me to share with you some of our concrete action plans:

For Truth: We hope to push for the passing of a Philippine Access to Information Law (PAIL) that would give every Filipino an opportunity to access government documents especially documents that would show how our hard-earned money is being spent by our government officials. Through this law, greater transparency can be achieved thus and more importantly, we are able to make our government leaders live by the saying that Public Office is a Public Trust.

For Accountability: We plan to file proper charges on Government Officials and Private Citizens who have taken part in Graft and Corruption practices and activities that have bankrupted our government coffers. If we do not do anything to hold these people accountable for their actions and curb corruption, then the cycle will just continue with new faces and sadly, with new techniques. Corruption has to stop because the 30 Billion Pesos that is lost to it every year can amount to provision of basic services that will ultimately uplift the lives of more than 20 Million Filipinos who continue to wallow in poverty.

For Reform: We plan to work and lobby for the extension and improvement of the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Law which expires this year. We believe that every Filipino should be provided with equal opportunities to be able to own his or her own land. In addition to this, we plan to pursue electoral reforms as early as now by developing projects and activities that will encourage and motivate First-time voters to register so they can exercise their right to choose our next President in 2010.

These are just among our concrete plans towards institutionalizing and working for genuine Change and Reform in our country. Since we are not a personality-based movement, Team RP will continue to push for these ideals and programs regardless of who becomes President, Vice-President, Senators, Congressmen, etc. We are doing this because we believe that many of our Government Leaders have Failed us and that its time for all of us to take control of our own future and work together for that genuine and lasting Change that we all want to see in our country. Let us all stop the all our excuses, iinaction, hopelessness, despair, indifference and complaining, these will all amount to nothing if we ourselves don't move ourselves to do anything for our country.

Change is now. Change starts with each one of us. Hope lies not in our country's leaders and those in power but it rests in every Filipino.

I am Change, are you? If Yes, then join us at Team RP by emailing us your complete name and contact information to team.rp.official@gmail.com . Help us as well by forwarding this email to your friends and posting it in your blogs so that many more Filipinos can join in our cause to take control of our own future.

We would also like to invite all of you to our upcoming Team RP General Assembly on April 26,2008 (Saturday), 1pm to 430pm at the Foyer of Club Filipino, Greenhills, San Juan, Metro Manila. Please send us an email with your contact information at team.rp.official@gmail.com if you are joining us for this event.

Harvey S. Keh, 29, is the Chairperson of Team RP, a youth-led organization that is pushing for Truth, Accountability and Reform in our Government. He is also the Project Director of the Asia Society's Philippines 21 Young Leaders Program which annually selects 10 outstanding Filipino Young Leaders which will represent the Philippines to the Asia 21 Young Leaders Summit which gathers more than 200 Young Leaders from different countries in the Asia-Pacific Region. Aside from these, Harvey continues to help make our country a better place for every Filipino through his involvements with the Ateneo de Manila University-School of Government and AHON Foundation. You can read his writings at his blog: http://www.filipinochangemaker.blogspot.com

An Appeal to Media: Cover More than the Theatrics

2008-03-05T23:02:00.000+08:00

Pass to media people you know...

An Appeal to Media: Cover More than the Theatrics
Joy Aceron

There is now a growing perception that street demonstrations are “quick fix” and “unintelligent” course of actions to resolve political issues. This is particularly evident about the reactions of some people about “people power,” which is being narrowly construed as nothing but nuisance, rabble-rousing and an impatient solution to the political crisis.

There are many reasons for this negative opinion about street protest actions, but the one that posts a significant influence is media coverage. On a varying level, what is seen on television, heard on radio and read on papers about societal actions are largely just the street demonstrations, particularly the theatrics: confrontation with the police, burning of effigies, wild antics, ironic combination of politicians and other attention-grabbing drama.

However, what the public does not know that should be told is that these groups and forces that are involved in street protests are doing a lot more than just being in the streets shouting their demands to the government. In fact, street protests, among the wide variety of societal actions, are probably where the least time and resources are spent.

The groups that are now active in protest actions in response to the political crisis under the current administration— the mass-based organizations, some leftist groups and some few middle class collectives—have consistently been involved in the painstaking tasks of organizing and education, bringing to as many people the forums and venues to know and discuss the issues that face the country. In order to exchange ideas, build consensus and broaden their impact, they build coalitions and networks, which is not an easy task involving unending debates because of the differences in perspectives among the organizations, groups and individuals in their group. They conduct research studies, build their database and publish reading materials particularly popular education materials about the issues they tackle. They engage the government, the business sector and other civil society groups in policy dialogues. Their partner non-government organizations would even undertake projects that provide direct services to their communities.

Because of their usually critical stance towards the government and their radical or progressive disposition, they do their work with the threat of repression and violence. Resources are always lacking, especially for those whose political work is a full-time job, hence, hardly there is comfort nor complacence. For the majority who has work outside of the protest actions, there is always the need to work double and triple time to balance the demands of their “profession” and the demands of the social movements. Largely the sacrifices are charged to love of country, service to the people and all those which are rhetorics to many, but something concrete and alive to these people.

Street protest actions are being done as part of the multi-faceted approaches to their advocacies that address fundamental and systemic problems of the country. This is usually just a venue for the different coalitions and networks to converge and bring their sentiments to a broader public, including those who hold public office. There are street demonstrations that are spontaneous where unexpected turn of events elicits strong emotional response that brings groups and unorganized individuals alike to converge in one place and exercise their freedom of expression, like EDSA 1. There are street protests and mass actions that are planned largely to show solidarity and send a message to a larger audience through the media.

The information that must be widely disseminated is that there are more to it than just mere street demonstrations. Street demonstrations are not quick fix and unintelligent societal actions. Behind it are critical analyses, long-lasting solutions and sustained actions. People power therefore is not just the coming out of groups and individuals to the streets. It involves the immense and sustained work of wielding the interest and imagination of the people and social forces to collectively engage and influence the outcome of public issues and concerns that affect the country. Behind the chants are heated debates, deep reflections and analyses. Behind the march are sweat and blood of people who take communal actions because of their shared beliefs and principles.

For the public to understand and appreciate the over-all work of the social forces, the media, which serve as the main source of information by most people, have to go beyond the theatrics. Not doing so will continue to put in bad light street protest actions and will disregard the more important work of the social movements.

This demand is probably difficult because it is the theatrics that have audience. It is popularly more interesting and perhaps even entertaining to many. The challenge however is: isn’t the media supposed to be balanced and truthful? Telling the public the whole picture of societal actions, or at least the more substantial part of it, will not only give justice to the work of the social movements, but will also give justice to the role that the media is supposed to play in society, which should go beyond what sells.

Joy Aceron
Lecturer, Political Science Department, Ateneo de Manila University
Research Fellow, Ateneo School of Government
Masters in Public Administration, University of the Philippines- Diliman
joyaceron@yahoo. com

Team RP Press Statement: On the Makati Rally

2008-03-05T21:49:00.001+08:00

TEAM RP PRESS STATEMENT
March 5, 2008

ON THE MAKATI RALLY

"We are disappointed over what happened during the rally in Makati last Friday, February 29, 2008. Allowing politicians to go on stage and speak in behalf of and to the crowd did not only misrepresent our convictions, but was primarily a breach of the agreement between the organizers and participating groups that no politician should be seen on stage.

"We pulled out earlier than expected because we believe that our no-politicos agreement should have been binding enough and that no individual or group was above that agreement, the same way we believe that no one is above the law.

"Friday proved that people of different beliefs and opinions can rally under the same banner and share a common goal. We are together in this fight for Truth, Accountability and Reforms in government, anchored on genuine democracy where transparency, dialogue and the rule of law are immutable and non-negotiable.

"But we disagree that politicians, with whatever fame they have or had, truly symbolize our sentiments. Likewise, we believe that in order to make the greater majority of the public realize that politics should not be personality-based, opinion leaders themselves should veer away from the traditional approach of building up personalities as icons of change.

"We look forward to the day when not only are our public officials held accountable to the people, but more importantly, that we, as a nation, value the honor of word and the promises we make.

"In our pursuit of Truth, Accountability and Reforms, we are also putting forth our convictions against traditional political trade, be it in government or civil society, which has tolerated, if not contributed to having a culture of corruption.

"A search for truth requires critical discussion and knowledge of facts and issues, not opinions or political statements from personalities. We disagree that the means justify the end; else we would be just like what we are fighting against."

Signed:

Chairman - Harvey Keh
Vice-Chairperson for External Affairs - Atty. Eirene Aguila
Vice-Chaiperson for Internal Affairs - Nina Terol
Membership Committee Head - Stephanie Cuevas
Communications and Public Relations Head - Niel Lim
Finance Committee Head - Steve Ladan
Secretariat and House Rules Committee Head - Ryan Chung
Special Projects Committee Heads - Karen Naranjo and Alvin Quintans
Truth Committee Head - Eli Convocar

Acccountability Committee Head - Princess Celestino
Reform Committee Heads - Marie Chris Cabreros and Gio Tingson

http://teamrp.multiply.com/

Team RP is a youth-led movement that is composed of college students and young professionals from all walks of life that is currently pushing for Truth, Accountability and Reform in our government. Team RP is also part of the BUSINA movement or Buong Bayan Isinisigaw Tama Na, Itama Na! Team RP believes that our decisions and actions should focus on the prevailing issues and problems at hand and not just on personalities and political figures. Team RP also believes in developing and implementing concrete action plans towards achieving its goals of promoting Truth, Accountability and Reform in our present-day Filipino society. As a youth-led movement, we believe that complaining about our country's present situation and problems is not enough, rather proactive and collective action by every Filipino is a must if we hope to move forward as a nation and as a Filipino people.

For more information about Team RP, please email us at team.rp.official@gmail.com or you can also call us at (02) 426-5657.

an interesting article about the youth today

2008-03-05T21:31:00.001+08:00

FOCUS ON FILIPINO YOUTH: THE LOST GENERATION http://www.pcij.org/i-report/3/filipino-youth.html

Finding Spaces

They are the hi-tech generation, at ease with technology but otherwise lost when it comes to dealing with the complexities of a globalized world.

by KATRINA STUART SANTIAGO

TOO OFTEN the Filipino youth is viewed with the conventional eyes of our elders: we are the future of the nation, we are the agents of change. The government counts on us to help save the country, civil society exhorts us to be vigilant, the media remind us often enough that we are the hope of the nation. For the most part, however, they are disappointed. Especially when it's convenient, we remain incomprehensible to our elders, and it's easy to see why.

We are the high-tech generation, adept at computers and cellphones, but unable to communicate well without a keypad or a clicking mouse. Our relationships are characterized by, even built on, text messages and electronic mail, impersonal as these may be. We conspire with piracy and free Internet downloads with gleefully open eyes, morality and ethics aside. We sit before our computers to find ourselves, if not in writing, then in creating websites, or in looking for jobs, friends, a community we might belong to. For many of us, our computers are our best friends, personal extensions where our work, our studies, our lives are conducted -- if not created and re-created -- as frequently as we find the need for it, which is quite often.

Our dependence on computers and cellphones is not only an indication of our aptitude for high-tech tasks and processes, it's also an indication of our need for something we can hold on to, something that somehow defines us, and only us. We love being incomprehensible to our elders because of this technology, and we revel in it. Unfortunately, a lot of the time we also reveal our incapability at discernment, as we unthinkingly forward ill-informed text messages or emails, upload pictures on the Internet without realizing the probability of its distribution, take stolen videos with our phones and think nothing of it. We have a hard time deciding whether something is right or wrong, dangerous or not; worse, we are unable to discern just what role technology is playing in our lives, or why it has become so important to us.

This lack of clarity about the things that define us may be the only thing that we of this generation have in common. Born in the late 1970s to early 80s to possibly activist or hippie parents, or to the straight conservative ones who stayed aloof of either extreme, ours is a generation that can't seem to find a reason for its existence. At least our activist parents had the Left to believe in and the Marcos regime to struggle against; our hippie parents had the liberation of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll to live up; our conservative parents had the Church and the institution of family to hold on to. By comparison, we are faced with nothing but the dregs of these institutions, now all unstable, often unintelligible, usually in the process of compromise. It's practically a nonspace of resistance and liberation, with uncertain enemies and even less certain ideologies to back us up.

Not that all of us are having a difficult time finding the right spaces within which we may exist, if only to survive. Cheap labor and globalization have brought us the call centers where half our youth are employed, changing their biological clocks, messing up relationships, and creating demand for 24-hour McDonalds and Jollibees in the strangest street corners. A small percentage of the other half are selfemployed, given rich parents who are only too happy to put up seed money and get their kids started on the capitalist course. Others with moneyed parents have the luxury of doing volunteer and NGO work, moved as they seem by a need to "give something back to the country" without necessarily seeing the big picture in which rich (probably their) families are the oppressors. Many are still part of the Philippine Left, confusing as that label has become, in all its denominations. At least those of us who are part of the different leftist movements have a better sense of what ails this country, even when we have to go from simple terms like poverty and corruption to the abstract levels and jargon of imperialism, bureaucrat capitalism, and fascism.

But so many more of the youth have left, or are set to leave. Our prospective teachers, doctors, nurses are on a constant exodus to different parts of the world, with a small middle to upper class percentage leaving in disgust what they think is a sinking boat. The bigger chunk of those who say goodbye though are of the lower classes, and they're the ones who say that they shall return, when they've ensured their futures with the dollars they will earn.

BUT MOST, if not all of us, are at a loss. It's not clear why we're living our lives the way we do, doing the things that occupy us. There's always a sense of uncertainty, not about the future, but about the present: What exactly are we doing? Why is this what we do? Whereas the generation before us always had a sense of a future -- with family, with career, with house and lot and what-have-you -- we are always looking at a future that's closer to the present, where we may finish our studies, find a job, write a book, or just simply see the month's end and decide then what's next.

This is not to say that we aren't enjoying ourselves, uncertainties and all. Thanks to the fruits of our hippie and activist parents' labors, we live at a time when there's freedom in the music we hear, the books we read, the television shows and movies we watch. We are liberated from the strict rules of the Church and the institutions of family, school, and employment. Freed from the stereotypes our parents rebelled against, we think nothing of reconfiguring our roles to suit our needs. We are redefining relationships as often as we redefine ourselves -- literally with vanity, or figuratively with spiritual or religious beliefs, and the next hip ideology. Homosexuality in all its dimensions has become our norm. Easily accessible organic herbs, designer drugs, and expensive alcohol are inanimate friends we can count on. And then there's the sexual freedom we are heir to, which most of the time we abuse, misuse, and unthinkingly tie our lives around. Our liberation, handed down as it was, has become the freedom we can't quite live up to. We wear what we want, we can be what we want, and do as we please. But that doesn't mean we're actually doing something. For the most part, we are easily satisfied with ourselves, and that's where the problem lies. We can do volunteer work for an NGO by day and party with abandon by night without feeling conflicted-we deserve it, we think, because we're doing something for the country. We can sit at a café all day and talk about what ails our lives, our relationships, our country, and think that this is productive. We go to a token rally "for the truth to come out" and imagine ourselves socially relevant. We look at EDSA 2 and think: hah! that was my doing, without a sense of what it has truly brought this country, which isn't much.

FOUR YEARS ago, tasked to teach critical thinking and the essay to college sophomores eight to 10 years my junior, I decided that the only way they could learn to think critically would be to show them where exactly they were coming from, and where they should speak from, given the state of the nation. I wanted to help them realize that in everything they said, did, or thought, they were speaking, doing, and thinking as Filipinos, whether they liked it or not. With that realization would come the responsibility not just to speak as Pinoys and Pinays, but to be Pinoys and Pinays in their analysis of everything from soap operas to foreign critical theories, from current events to the clothes they wear.

Of course given that we all, young and old alike, continue to be messed up about our identity as a people, I could only ground them in certain realities about our country that we manage, consistently, not to confront. Realities that we keep in check because we can, since we are not directly burdened. The most basic of these that needs to be acknowledged, I found, is the fact that we are an impoverished country, never mind that we're driving the newest cars, or that we have the latest cellphones, or that we are not the poor. It does not mean that everybody else is as well-off -- because not a whole lot are. Only upon realizing this can we raise the question: Why are we poor? A question that can only be answered by history, hopefully a Constantino history, which tells of how we have been oppressed for centuries and by what, and how we have always fought back.

A SENSE OF history is a good beginning, I believe, for those of us in this generation, students and teachers alike, seeking a reason for our existence at this point in time. Because we may be hi-tech and all, free to make life choices, and liberated in the way we dress, think, and do things, but in truth, we are misplaced and displaced by a lack of consciousness about where we truly come from in the context of the country we irrevocably belong to. When the poverty is acknowledged, our enemies become obvious. Ours is a long history of governance that has not had the interests of the majority of this country in mind, allowing globalization to eat us alive, allowing the elite to continue owning more and more of this country's money and natural resources for themselves, allowing booty capitalism to prosper at the expense of the poor and hungry majority. And then there's us, the educated middle class, some of whom choose to remain complacently uncertain about what we may do, and some of whom choose to take off, in search of happier spaces.

But the space we search for can only be here, in the one country we are born to and can truly call ours. Whatever we do, whether we're leaving or staying, taking to the streets for the masses or going to the countryside and joining the armed struggle, whether we're writing in English or living up the Filipino language, teaching in a university or answering complaints at a call center, we make our decisions in the context of the state of this nation, as we know it. This is all the space we need, and the space where we are most needed. We only need to know enough to see it.

Meanwhile, we wander among the spaces we create and wonder what it will take to knock some sense into our heads about the changes we have the power to effect. Quite possibly, we are a generation doomed to an endless process of searching -- in denial about this country's truths, not ready to give up our lives for the bigger battles, uncertain of what exactly it is we can do. Probably, we are a transition generation, finding and making spaces in the strangest of places -- be it in the technology we so love or in the bars of Malate, be it in waging war or in observing the peace, in writing or in taking to the streets -- living out our contradictory lifestyles and values, creating an open space for the time when we may all agree on what we stand for, and find it in ourselves to fight the real struggle for country vs. poverty, enemies and all.

Hopefully we see that this time can be now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The author is currently doing her thesis for an M.A. in Philippine Studies at the U.P. Departamento ng Filipino at Panitikan ng Pilipinas. She does freelance writing and editorial work on the side. Her passion is teaching.

political disempowerment: why people are not out on the streets

2008-03-02T14:04:00.002+08:00

This is what i know:

WE ARE a DEMOCRACY! that means power should emanate from the people
My polsci teacher asked us in class, why are we afraid of another poeple power then if that is exactly the essence of a democracy.

the answer is this: we are politically disempowered

why?

1, the middle class is too comfortable, having a myopic stance and not seeing that there is NO progress, we are stagnating because of corruption

2. most Filipinos are poor - i believe poverty is the greatest hindrance to freedom kaya some are letting themselves be bribed para magrally

3. some of the masses are moving, but they are not heard by the elites and middle class kasi nga feel ng mga nakatataas nagdedestabilize sila, not seeing that RALLIES and people power are constitutional and must be seen to be necessary to exact acountability from our leaders

4. many intellectuals are not anymore thinking critically and do not take the responsibility to lead

5. there are lesser avenues given that the admin is suppressing the people's voices: extrajudicial killings, abduction (saying they have been asking for protection), etc.

6. LGUs and provinces are pro food, pro health, etc, not pro govt and because they are entrenched in the padrino system, they'd rather accept the status quo given that they are at least getting some benefit, not seeing that that is not real progress

What we should do is be politically empowerred for that is the true meaning of democracy
we should not ask for democracy, we should act as a democracy

Dapat makiaalam tayo, we should look at what is happening to our country and be critical about what we read on papers and watch in the news.

We should not remain idle, this is not a time to be in the middle ground, we have to take a side.

I only wish we are truly informed before we do decide which side to take.

Let us be informed, and Let us be responsible for our One Country!!!

kung bakit sila natutong umibig

2008-02-24T11:05:00.007+08:00

Noong unang panahon
Walang puso ang mga lalaki
Kung saan naroon ang puso
Mayroon lamang kawalan
Hindi nila ito kailangan
Buhay ang kanilang mga dugo kaya't kaya nitong pumunta sa kahit anong parte ng kanilang katawan ng hindi nangangailangan ng pagtibok ng kanilang puso

Hindi nagtagal hindi na rin nila kinailangan ng babae
Sapat na ang kanilang mga ari

At sa mundong ito na walang mga babae
May nabuhay na isang lalaki na lipad ng lipad
Minsan narito, minsan nariyan
At sa isang sangang kaniyang dinapuan
Sinakop siya ng banyaga
Siya ay ginahasa

At sa binhing pinainom sa kanya
Na doon sa kawalan sa kaniyang dibdib naitanim
May tumubong puno kung saan dumaloy muli ang kaniyang dugong nanghina na sa kakapasa ng mga braso

Doon nagsimulang nagkapuso ang mga lalaki
Pusong nagngangalit
Gayunpaman ay tumitibok
Sa kanila dumaloy din muli ang lahi ng mga babae
Ng mga Inang naghehele sa mga lalaking muntik nang hindi tubuan ng puso

watching her and the king

2008-02-04T21:28:00.000+08:00

Entry # 3

It has been the most beautiful funeral I've ever been to. I cried even though I didn't know the guy. Or may be I did. Everyone did. He was in the papers. What could one do but be intrigued.

During the procession the rain almost fell and the sun peeked - heaven couldn't make up its mind. Who could? people loved and hated him. Well me, I didn't care, I had my own dead to think of. Well yes, I sort of cried, but only because every detail was so magnificent it was almost like burying a god.

well, enough of him, he's not the dead I've been praying for.

~~~~~~~

and now, you.
When will you return?

pagtalikod

2008-02-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

hindi ko alam kung bakit
hindi naman ako sira
pero naghahanap din ako
at hindi makapwesto

minsan iniisip ko
baka minsan nangyari din sakin yun
minsan hinihiling ko pa nga
pero hindi,
walang dahilan,
kahinaan lang.

minsan lang ako umasa
sa iilan lamang
at kung minsan nagagalit ako
sigurado akong hindi iyon magtatagal
dahil ayaw kong mawalan
at sanay na kong ganyan
ayaw kong mawalan
sanay nang maging bulag

kaya sa kaunting ulan
masaya ako
sa kaunting salita
natutunaw ako

un lang
un lang

at dahil nawawala ako sa kababawan
lalong nahihirapan
laging may kulang
laging may poot

pwede na ito
pwede na ito

hindi tumatalikod
hindi marunong tumalikod

kanta

2008-01-26T02:06:00.000+08:00

gagawa ako ng kanta para sa 'yo
sana magustuhan mo

pero kunwari hindi mo alam
para hindi ako magmukhang tanga
at hindi mo iyon mababasa sa mata ko
at lalayuan na lang muna kita

hanggang maniwala ka na talaga
hanggang ang kanta ay hindi mo na maalala

at kapag nabuo ko na ito
huwag kang tumawa ha

sayang kasi
>_<

mmk - wala lng

2008-01-26T02:01:00.000+08:00

z: e ikaw anu pangalan mo?
m: Flor.
z: Flor ano>? Flor de Luna? Flor Contemplacion? Floor Wax?

benta sakin...
oona korni ako

m: kahit galing pa yan sa pwet ng baso importante pa rin sakin yan dahil galing sayo...kasi mahal kita.

kelangan ko na matulog
masaya ang linggong ito
pati last weeks
kahit magulo sobra!
sana ganito lagi.

Lord give me strength!

2008-01-20T09:46:00.000+08:00

Rafaela Mae L. David January 18, 2008
III – AB Political Science PoS 194 Section B

Group topic:
Presidentialism vs. Parliamentarism

Theoretical Framework
Pluralism, Historical Approach

Research Question:
Why has India established a Parliamentary System of governance rather than a presidential one unlike most post-colonial states?

Hypothesis:
India developed a parliamentary – federal form of government unlike other post-colonial states because of its distinct temporal-spatial features and is maintained because of the power-wealth struggle among “power sharers” in the country.

Outline:

I. Introduction:
a. Post-Colonial States share the common experience of colonial rule by imperial powers at a time when their faith in representative politics and rational bureaucratic rule was at its height.
b. These new states established different forms of governance in their countries.
c. There were different factors which led diverse national response and forms of state from each post-colonial country
i. Geographical Size
ii. Material and Institutional inheritance
iii. Historical length and depth of their respective state traditions
II. India established a federal government with a bicameral parliament
a. Federal form of state government
b. The bicameral cabinet system
III. India established a parliamentary – federal form of government because of several factors:
a. India established this form of government because of the following distinct temporal-spatial features:
i. Geographical Size: India has a large geographical area
ii. Institutional inheritance: India’s cabinet system was patterned after the British form of government – the government of its colonizers.
iii. Historical length and depth of their respective state traditions: India as a modern state is relatively young; however India as a nation has already been alive for several centuries.
b. The parliamentary – federal form of government is maintained in India because of power-wealth struggle.
i. From having the Congress as the dominant political party, other opposition parties are increasingly gaining power
ii. Political parties mediate economic reforms. Regional parties serve to legitimize ruling class domination and economic policies.
iii. The federal system instead of promoting substate power perpetuates centralization of power in the national government.
IV. Conclusion

Annotated Bibliography:

Mehra, Ajay K., D. D. Khanna and Gert W. Kueck, eds. Political Parties and Party Systems. New Delhi: Sage Publications, 2003.

Political Parties and Party Systems is an anthology of essays regarding the political parties and the party system in India. Discussions include their history and federalization. It also juxtaposed the party system in India from that of Germany and the European Union. It also contained an article situating Indian party system in its social, cultural and economic context. Other issues discussed were the role of regional parties in state legitimization and how party politics mediate economic reforms. Lastly it discusses how local democracy suffers because of this party system.

Mitra, Subrata Kumar, ed. The Post-Colonial State in Asia: Dialectics of Politcs and Culture. New York: Harvester Wheatsheaf, 1990.

The Post-Colonial State in Asia is a collection of articles discussing the different characteristics of the emerging states from past colonies of imperial regimes in Asia. In its introduction it explains some factors that account for the differences in the kind of government that post-colonial states choose to establish despite a common experience of colonialism. It puts into context the different forms of states that emerge after the achievement of independence, including the continuing resilience of the Indian state and its institutionalization.

Morris-Jones, W. H. Parliament in India. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1957.

Morris-Jones discussed the nature of Indian politics and the subsequent introduction of the parliamentary form of government. It elaborated on the structure of the cabinet and the legal and political issues surrounding it. It tackled the role of the parties in the government and the procedure and privilege exercised by the upper and lower house of the Indian government. The book also included the role of the some high officials and committees. Lastly, the book discussed the achievements of the parliamentary kind of government for the state.

Venkateswaran, R. J. Cabinet Government in India. London: George Allen & Unwin Ltd. 1967.

This book discussed the Cabinet System of governance in India before the decline of Congress. It elaborates on the historical background of the Indian Parliament and its British influence. It presented how the Indian cabinet functions and its parallelism and differences with its British counterpart. It also discussed the Indian constitution which it uses up to the present. In the end it explained possible prospects of Indian democracy.

Weiner, Myron. Party Politics in India: The Development of a Multi-Party System. New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1957.

Weiner talks about the different political parties in India and their incorporation into a multi-party system. It also talked about the emergence of certain political party and the merger of others. It gave an account of the issues faced by India and the elements of its stability and instability. In its conclusion, it discusses the possible prospects in India’s political future.

nagbago na ang lahat

2008-01-16T21:06:00.000+08:00

I want to sing again
like the old days
when you knew how to make me laugh
and nothing mattered much except that you smiled

~~~~~~~~~

hihintayin kita
wag kang bibitaw

~~~~~~~~~
sabihin mo kung san kita hahanapin
at kung saan man iyon
pupuntahan kita

ibalik mo ang lahat ng hiniram
doon kung saan ka lumisan
doon kung saan sinubok mong lumipad

ikwento mo sa dating tagpuan
kung nakalipad ka na

doon yayakapin kita

~~~~~~~~~~
I wear my emotions like a name tag
but everything's written in Japanese

~~~~~~~~~~
you don't deserve my infidelity
and I don't deserve your forgiveness

~~~~~~~~~~
when I speak
make sure you really hear me
and everything in between

~~~~~~~~~~
she said it is harder to wake up than to sleep
now that he's gone...

~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather have said no
than say nothing at all

~~~~~~~~~~
you have killed me just by saying no
and yet I would have stayed in limbo not knowing

~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for the silence
now I'm deaf

~~~~~~~~~~
I knew you thought badly of me
Just as I knew you were right
But please don't pretend to think otherwise
You're not the only one who reads minds

~~~~~~~~~~
Do not trust me
I will lie to you
not because i want to
but because I can't see you die

~~~~~~~~~~
hayaan mo na
hindi ko naman hinihiling na basahin mo bawat salita
tama na iyong binili mo ko

~~~~~~~~~~
mahal kita
iyon na lang
sapat na

hanggang dumating ang bukas

~~~~~~~~~~
inisa isa ko ang potahe ng aking ina
sa kanyang maliit na kaha
tinimplahan ng pampaanghang

hindi nila nagustuhan

~~~~~~~~~~
tatalon na ako
at aasahang susunod ka pagkatapos ko

take three

2007-12-15T01:02:00.000+08:00

muntik nanaman ako mamatay
wala ka pa rin nun.

ohwell, anu pa nga ba...

we can do better than that

2007-12-10T14:02:00.000+08:00

i just got shot (in the heart)

and he bugged me about his C paper.

say cheese!!!

really wilted

2007-12-08T03:18:00.000+08:00

Entry # 2.4

And sometimes when I say that death has come, it is the truth.

And it is in your death that I knew you,

And before I owned you, I had already let go.

staying alive

2007-12-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

Entry # 2

Remember him for it is only in memory that he can stay alive.

It took me two years to know him and how dead he was, but it only took me two weeks to forget him. It was not that I didn’t love him; it was just easier for me not to feel hurt by forgetting him. It was like forgetting a beautiful but tragic dream – so beautiful that it couldn’t have been real.

It seemed surreal that I could feel his heat. I knew there was something wrong – he was cold and hot at the same time. Yes, I forgot him, but not how he made me feel. His face, his laugh, his skin, I have forgotten, but not how I cursed under my breath when he was near.

Here I am writing his story. I cannot forget how I loved him.

guhit

2007-12-06T23:38:00.000+08:00

ginuguhit mo ang katawan
ginuguhit ko ang mukha

ang pagguhit ay pagmamahal
-paghuli na hindi umaangkin

staying dead

2007-12-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

Entry # 1

I knew early on that you loved listening to yourself talk, so I was surprised that I still liked you. I even love listening to you talk now, a habit that has grown on me, you have grown on me. Even when I realized you talked to cover up your insecurities, I loved you even more.

It was the fifth of May when I found you all alone, listening to the sounds of people laughing, prying with envious eyes. It never occurred to me that you were dead. You were so alive. Your eyes moved with such enthusiasm that I could have mistaken you for a child getting his first bicycle ride. You had such red cheeks that I shied away from you at first. But I couldn’t hide from you, nor resist you. You must know that by now because you constantly mistreat me. Anyways, it doesn’t matter now.

bula

2007-10-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

i just feel so proud, we did it! It was all worth it (and more!!!!)
really couldn't write about it then, now i'm just happy it happened.

poster by mummy karen santos

thank You po sa tulong! >_<

first week ng sembreak!

2007-10-19T19:44:00.000+08:00

ACIL formsem = fun at food! sayang nga lagn kulang kami!
at nagkaroon ng sore eyes epidemic! nung last day namin, 3 na ang may sore eyes...
at since last night, mga 10 na ang meron samin out of 16 council members! 11 if isasama si bro atoy! phew, buti nlng nde ako tinamaan!

Koine in CCP: Waiting in the Wings. nag extra kami sa play ni direk: To Really Like Crying over Spilt Milk! SUPERduperFUN! nagkita ulet kami nung ibang koine actors. si ate eliza, ate lara, ate les, kenneth, darren at ozy! sabi pa ni tita yvonne tumaba ako. at syempre si direk!
Sad part lang ay nabalitaan namin na Sir Flavio Tinio died last tuesday. After nung play, pumunta kami sa burol niya. I only got to play Subtext with him once ata or twice if i'm not mistaken. Minsan lang din kami nagkita. But I could feel how he loved serving and theatre from Direk's stories of him. He even ventured to make the Nueva ecija VFT.

and that's the first week of my sembreak! sana wag ako magkasore eyes, at sana maging masaya ang aking sembreak!

PS: mataas philo finals ko! I'm crying tears of joy now! akala ko mababa ako >_<

first day na nakatunganga

2007-10-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

ito ang unang araw in a long while na nagkaoras ako tumunganga!
at natapos ko na panuorin ung claymore!!! wow! astig! galing ni clare! >.<

bukas gagawa nanaman kami paper at mag aaral na ko for my two orals sa sabado!
sana hindi maging boring ang bakasyon! woohoo! party!

mauubos na ang hell weeks

2007-10-10T23:14:00.000+08:00

waw!!!!!!!

malapit na matapos ang finals!!! T_T
pero syempre bago makarating ng finish line maraming kinailangan pagdaanan at mga pagdadaanan pa!

highlights!

15 page paper for pos116 na gnwa overnyt due thurs last week! pinagpasapasahan ako sa cityhall at sa hule ndi na ko umasa so sa internet nlng ako naghanap ng data ^^, pero reliable source naman!

another 15 page paper due friday for histo na gudlak nlng, nde ko p alam isusulat ko nung friday na un! kasi nde ko pa tapos basahin ung letters ni rizal kay pastells (na super biigat sa utak) at hindi ko alam panu ko ifeframe argument ko! e ang deadline nun ay 12 MIDNiGHT so may time pa. i did it during my break time and all night. natapos ko siya at exactly 11:58 pm!!! 'takte', grabeng stress.... paprint kami ni mummy at syempre punta kami sa kalibliban ng ateneo na tinatawag na LST para magpasa....nakapagpasa ako ng mga 12:20am
phew!!!! late pa rin...sana hindi naman masyado mapangitan si sir....in fairness feel ko hidni naman siya crap ^^,

dahil dun gusto ko magpasalamat kay mummy karen at kay RJ pernatz para sa kanyang pagiging tagapagtanggol namin sa mga mumu, kahit na malaki pa atraso niya sakin at sa mga dream girls!!!

O_< at syempre more papers! essay sa pos55 at final paper for pos116!

ang buhay polsci: nakakalunod sa papers!

but wait there's more! meron pa research paper due next monday! pero kaya na namin un! go dreamgirls + bodyguard! kahit na tayo ay pinagmalupitan at nagmumukha pang mga bitter, may prinsipyo lang tayo! >_< at mahal ko kayo! kaya natin toh! aja!

hay, onti na lang

2007-10-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

matapos magrant tungkol sa grades:

puffy: ok, tama na GC mode
puffy: we have to focus on what is really imprtant
puffy: LOVE <3
mummy: ..........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
mummy: WHAT IS LOVE WITHOUT GRADES?:

takteng pos130! sayang ang B+ na magsasave sa aking arms race!

it's raining on me too

2007-09-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

don't you know i'm putting up this show for you?
and now you're sad.
and you won't tell me a thing.

i hope you'd smile.
i hope that you'd be happy,
just be happy,
please.

catch and release

2007-09-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

catch a falling star,
watch it struggle against your hands
and finally
you release it;
else its light goes out.

i see you see me

2007-09-22T22:09:00.000+08:00

"that in itself can be art, or it can be love...that is up to you"

the rain brings with it hope

and the winds blow over the billboards
the lights go down
and we open the windows
just so we could see
and feel each other through our eyes

may be if the people just kept silent,
i wouldn't have to see you
hearing you would have been enough.

rants

2007-09-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

this is probably one of the busiest sems ever!

nag acil nstp sa umaga
then go to slum area late morning to survey people...punta kami from house to house!

then dun naman kami sa marikina, sa mga mayayamang tao kung saan may ibang snobs! inabot na kami ng gabi, mga 9pm! then nagtally kami ng results tapos kulang na kulang pa ang data. nakatulog kami mga 2 hours.

sa umaga, libot ulet ng community at nagbahay bahay para magpasurvey pa. mali mali pa sagot ng iba...hmph...cute pa naman ung nagsagot nung isa, tpos mali sagot nya...hmph! nakauwi ako hapon...tulog....gising...

ngaun paper naman kay erap!

bukas ulet. interview sa umaga...class, tally ng survey sheets sa hapon, analyze, interview, analyze. paper!

memories

2007-09-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

astig, nagmessage sakin sa friendster ung super pinsan ng pinsan ko!
ung tipong tao na super nasa memory ng pagkabata ko, kasi kasama namin siya first time kami nag beach...nung unang beses ako nakakita ng shooting stars!

stig tlga!

tutubi

2007-09-16T21:56:00.000+08:00

I wanna be a tutubi na walang tinatagong bato sa kanyang mga kamay,

hah!

na nahulog sa lupa tinuka ng manok na ____________!

fill in the blank

lagi na lang ako nadadapa

2007-09-14T22:49:00.001+08:00

literally pare!

sakit ng tuhod ko.

therapy ang pagboblog.

the woman in red

2007-09-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

Last Wednesday, this guy kept calling me the woman in red (or was it the girl in red?).

~~~
I feel so tired right now.
I'm done,
Yet everything is still a haze.
I'm not yet sure what i feel.

~~~

i don;t know, but he phrase "God bless America" is ringing in my ears.

~~~

bumili ako penoy, kakainin ko mamaya.
FIrst time ko kumain nun if ever...

~~~
nagtetext sakin kuya nung kid sa 'bula'
"kamusta na phoe kau mis paeng?"
pero in fairness cute sya....

~~~
Godbless America!?
shemay...un talaga pumapasok sa utak ko.
argghh...

wednesday morning

2007-09-12T08:32:00.000+08:00

I woke up crying. I had a very bad dream where I was mostly angry and crying. And then I woke up.

yesterday we sort of finished bula.
Even though overkill na ang pagpunta ko kina pedro, super duper masaya naman! mejo nakakahiya lang din...hehe...
badtrip lang ung palm drive ayaw gumana. hmph!
But I got to **** ** ****
which was more than enough =p

Sana maging maayos ang araw na ito, no scary surprises, no bad dreams, and no no no technical difficulties! kundi mababaliw na tlga ako.

message to everyone

2007-09-10T22:44:00.001+08:00

you under estimate doing what you do..that's your life for goodness sake....it's you.....it's the only thing you cant separate yourself from unless mabaliw ka.......if nde ka content sa gngwa mo...e d do something else....
love something other than yourself.....live for something......hope....

questions....(apparently not the last time)

2007-09-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

tanong ko kay marv:

bkit black and white?
becoz it adds charm?
pero sometimes i wonder why we extract the colors in life
why we have to alter
edit
make perfect

marv: malay mo pumangit
paeng_160: bkit kelangan maganda?

this is the last time

2007-09-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

She won't pretend if he'd ask her.
But it's too late not to pretend.
He said good bye then
Just in time when she was going to let him in.

lost in translation again

2007-09-10T20:15:00.001+08:00

It's hard to translate feelings into words,
But I'll try
Just so you would understand.

It's easier when I put it into a melody,
or show them through my tears.
Though you might not get it still.

I'm learning to keep quiet
About things that really bother me.
It becomes harder,
knowing my words do not mean as much as I want them to.

may be another day

2007-09-10T19:23:00.000+08:00

I almost saw the sun set today,
As i was riding the LRT,
on my way home.

But just as it was about to set, the buildings got taller and taller.

There are days when I cease to hope,
Because it doesn't seem to get me anywhere.
But at times when I get to see something beautiful,
like the sun setting
I find myself hoping again.

Pity I didn't see it set today.
Well,
Almost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I solve problems and I think I'm really good at it.
I don't ask for help, because I don't want to owe anyone anything.
When I do ask for it,
it's when I know the one I'd ask won't expect anything in return,
or love me enough so that they don't care if offering a hand would mean going out of their way.

But I don't know how to solve this one.
And there's seems to be no one who could help me.

Now, I'm back at square one
Solving, adding, subtracting,
Rechecking my answer
Where did I go wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm asking for help now
And I feel ashamed because I'm asking for your help when you don't love me enough to go out of your way

I'm sorry.

Humpty dumpty

2007-09-07T08:57:00.000+08:00

He says:
I'm afraid I can't fix you now.

foolish girl
you shouldn't have let yourself fall,
you knew it would break you.

Or did you think I would catch you?

manong, dadaan po ba ng ligaya?

2007-09-07T08:33:00.000+08:00

for weeks now i've been planning on posting an entry but i've never really had time nor the reason to actually post one. It's has been one big roller coaster these past few weeks and i don't even know how it all started. But now that i think about it, knowing that the hardest thing has come to pass, i feel happy. i realize it was fun despite the stress and all those challenges.

I'm up early to do my RRL for our group research due today. Wasn't able to do it last night cause pedro and i had to edit the film. super bait ng parents niya. nagulat nga ako kasi nde ko ineexpect na maramiing tao sa kanila. grabe ung hospitality nila! Some of the most heartwarming people i've met. tsaka sarap ng food nila ^^, And i was really happy kasi maganda resolution nung video nung nilipat sa pc. kaso mga more than 5 GB ata ung file size.

bukod pa dun nagcalligraphy lessons kami ni jo kahapon! (jo savior ka talaga!) i know how to write 'love' and 'hope' in jap! sort of. kahit na nde ako na-VG ng jap teacher. ahah...pero saya! kakatanggal stress.

tpos nung wed, nakikipagpatentero kami sa higad nina mummy at jo at jinno habang naghihintay na dumaan si gory na nde naman dumaan...and i just had to write that down so i won't forget it ^^,

Lundagin mo Beybe!

2007-07-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

The past days caught me off guard. I'm tired beyond reason, by that I mean: I'm tired and I don't know why. I'm posting just because I have this urge to tell, just anyone who might be passing by this site (probably lost or clicked a link or whatever). I just wanted to shout out to the world that I shall jump! whatever that means! sa philo 101 un, na sabi ni Fr. Ferriols, lundagin mo beybe! Meaning, danasin mo. At feel ko nanonood lang ako sa buhay ko habang dumadaan siya.... oh well, (emo post ba ito?!) tsaka feel ko wala na ko napanghahawakan. para akong lumilipad, like i'm flying Jack, I'm flying!!! mwahahaha!! bangag na ko.... weird O_o

prrttt....!!! peace sa lahat!!!

so what do you want

2007-06-14T23:17:00.001+08:00

the flowers you gave me are not yet wilting,
i'm starting to think they're not real.

the distant kind of lonely

2007-06-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

there are two kinds of loneliness,
one which seeks comfort in the company of others, or of God
the other seeps through every conversation, every word, every action,
that in the end it feels like it will never end
It's the kind of loneliness one feels when he won't let God comfort him,

he just runs.

lost in translation

2007-06-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

madalas,
lalo na pag hindi mo maintindihan ang mga binibigkas ng bibig
mas madali dumama.

O Hesus Hilumin Mo
-Bukas Palad

KORO:
O Hesus, hilumin Mo
Aking sugatang puso
Nang aking mahango
Kapwa kong kasimbigo

Hapis at pait Iyong patamisin
At hagkan ang sakit
Nang magningas ang rikit (KORO)

Aking sugatang diwa't katawan
Ay gawing daan
Ng 'Yong kaligtasan (KORO)

~
magpapasukan nanaman.
hindi pa ko handa.

sangkatutak na readings,
mahabang pila sa xeroxan,
at butas na bulsa!

changing lanes and tooth aches

2007-05-22T18:14:00.000+08:00

You know why long distance relationships don't work? Cause people can't wait... they want immediate gratification! Just like when you drive and change lanes just because the cars in the other lane moves faster, in the end finding yourself even more jammed in traffic. It's human nature really. But there is always a choice. Waiting is a choice.

Then we think about what if's

Then we learn about forgiveness, abandoning hope that things could've been different, grateful that things are the way they are, understanding that what is, is what should be. Finally we let go of the past.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

In less than 2 months i underwent 2 operations: my knee, and now, two of my molars (make that 3 if you consider each tooth as two separate operation). Apparently there is no more space in my mouth for them to grow. thankfully, my jaw did not swell badly, it looks normal really. I only ate yogurt and ice cream yesterday because i couldn't chew anything, really good post operation food!

INVENIO

2007-05-10T18:10:00.000+08:00

Watch Invenio. May 26 at SM Megamall, Cinema 9!
See Koine Scholars perform for you with much heart and talent!
It's a show you wouldn't want to miss!
See you there!

For more information go to http://amazingkoineshows.com/

hoping i made the right decision

2007-05-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

it's like picking the right pen that would give you luck in your next exam...somehow the thickness of the ink, the smoothness of the ballpoint on the paper, and even how comfortable it moves with your hands that it just makes you think a little better...

the little things ^^,

regrets

2007-04-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

erased.

it's just bugging me...
why? coz im tired of words that never seem to get things right.
haha!

wishing i never said some of the things i said
>_<

100th post, and i walk again

2007-04-23T23:10:00.000+08:00

nakakalakad na ko, with a limp though....pero ok na rin.
bukas first time ko magcocommute muli na mag isa...exciting!

ngayon nlng ako nagpost kasi angdami ko inayos, finals plus paper.
napagod ako. angdami kong oras, kaso nagcram pa rin ako, panu ba naman kasi ay nakakatamad, feel ko bakasyon na, tpos sabi pa ng mga tao, wag mo na isipin ung finals, pagaling ka muna, e d sinunod ko naman...nagcram tuloy ako.

mga nakakatawang nangyari:

a polsci teacher: "a ikaw pala yun, akala ko myth ka lang...pero diba, the trauma!"

karamihan ng gurad sa lrt: "miss ok ka lang/o ano nangyari jan?"

mga tambay/tricycle driver: "miss buhatin nalang kita"

si mama: "kumapit ka, nakakauntog!"; "AY BALIBAGO!"

ang pinsan kong Qt: "*t*tin akong bata!" mamimiss kita! <<
~.~
anghirap ng pos53 finals!
~.~
sori sa mga inaway ko at pinagtampuhan ko, ibig sabihin lang nun, you're important.
~.~
mag miminor ba ko sa lit or philo? creative writing?
dami pa kelangan gawin...hay...
bakasyon na!

disease

2007-03-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

"kumbaga I'm cured from you"

as if I'm a disease...

well, I'm happy for you,

You'll be able to live your life as you should

and for me,

You'll finally stop blaming me for your sadness...

mysteries

2007-03-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

nalabhan ko USB thumb driev ni ate....ain't that nice?

ayaw ko na magblog...napapagod na ko...hay...
ayaw ko na mag isip.
at syempre naiinis ako kasi bakit feel ko lost ako, ung iba hindi...
although I know that's not true...

At syempre si ******, talking about allegories, just seems to enjoy writing in his blogs...and his entries mystify me.... and it's scary in a sense...
Perhaps because his words says too much yet so little.

I love solving puzzles, but I can't seem to solve his... but I think I'm on the right track...hmm...

but some puzzles don't have answers, they remain as mysteries.

Just when I find myself, I get lost again...

2007-03-20T20:28:00.000+08:00

I have a dilemma and direQ (with a Q) told me something that really confuses me now: "sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is to fail him/her..."
and if I do that, people will probably hate me...but somehow i think it's the right thing to do so that she'd know her actions have consequences and that she can't have her way all the time.

may be I can just scare her....wadyathink?

~~~
I lost my wallet...and I practiced losing it three times!
beat that!
Ask kuya Benjie, he witnessed it all!

~~~
I didn't know my psych test is tomorrow and that think-piece on agamben is on thurs >>> wake up call: I'm becoming too lax with my studies...
have to concentrate! have to concentrate! have to concentrate!

~~~
I have a 30 MINUTE ORALS on POS61!!!
Imagine 30minutes of talking with sir RC???
I wonder what we're gonna talk about....hmm....gays and lesbians???
may be...

Well I like sir RC, it's just that...30 minutes???!!! With about 30 students, how'd he do it? What would I say? It's really scary...(???)

~~~
I have many assignments for our band theory class in Koine, I really hope I can do everything properly. I have to manage my time well!

~~~
napanuod ko na dream girls kagabi, ang ganda ng mga kanta...ewan ko lng kung naappreciate nung kasama ko...hmp :p

i envy them...

2007-03-18T10:21:00.001+08:00

because they have a father now...
I still don't

the resurrection

2007-03-18T09:47:00.000+08:00

grabe, kagabi ko pa dinadasalan itong PC ko, PC tlga ito ni Ate roan pero share na rin rin kami! grabe magagalit sakin un if ever!!! e kasi ung speaker tinanggal ko kasi gnamit ko for another purpose...tpos nung binalik ko siya...nag-autoshutdown/restart siya....basta nagbreak down siya! waaa....at ayaw na niya magboot!!!

gusto ko lng itake ang opportunity na ito para pasalamatan ang mga dumamay sakin sa madilim na panahon ng aking buhay, at ng PC na ginagamit ko ngayon!

kay Rod na tumawag pa gamit ang celphone niya kasi may 'emergency' ako.
kay Kris na nagsabi sakin na safemode at restore ko ang settings ng pc ko
kay Gremon na kinulit ko lng naman at nagsabi na kelangan ko ng boot CD
Kay Pam na nagbigay sakin ng number ni gremon at chineck pa kung nagkausap na kami
kay bi na wala tlgang alam...bwahaha
Kay nico na najan palagi para dumamay
Kay nikkolo na ever technology boy at nag offline msg pa sakin
Kay Reniel na nakasolve ng mystery.
voila! nabuhay siya ulet!!!

kung makikita niyo...mejo desperado na ko kaya angdami kong kinontak...kasi lagot tlga ako kay ate!

sana hindi na naimbento ang computers...bwahahaha!!!

~~~
nananaginip lng ba ko kagabi...kung hindi, sabihin mo lang ha! ^^,

~~~
ay...wag nlng pala...hindi ko pa kaya kung totoo nga...

sacrifices we make

2007-03-17T19:54:00.000+08:00

We had the Koine audition for the scholars this morning! I was supposed to have my orals today, but I asked maam cuyegkeng if she can give it to me earlier so i can attend the screening! I got a decent grade given the fact that I wasn't able to study well (super impulsive decision!), and it was worth it! Kasama ako sa nagscreen ng scholars sa music track! At nakakatuwa! It was like forming an intimate relationship with someone, only it's actually with a mission. Plus nakapagbond kami ni ate Caye. Kakatuwa lng.

In the afternoon, we had our last SAN MATS Teaching session and Formation session. kakapagod kasi angkulet ng mga kids, pero in the end, superfulfilling naman lalo na when they kiss me in the cheek. kaso im officially broke...negative pa nga...may utang pa ko.

After nun, nagFS kami sa Pizza hut! oh dba! free food! pero galing san mats fund un, kaya this coming sem, we have to raise more funds to replace what we had spent this year. nakapagbond kami kahit oonti lng kami! tpos angkulet ni kuya ayanken! actually lahat ng kasama ko dun makulet! sana mas madami kami sa san mats next year...

~~~
pero syempre naGGC ako, kasi i could've done better (ang ganda ng jump ko!)
but in the end, im happy!

my biggest fear now: I might fail those whom I love, including myself.

PS: hindi siya #%^$*&^...probably meant goodbye.

half asleep

2007-03-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

I couldn't remember the phone ringing,
nor me picking it up.
I was already asleep,
you woke me up.

I just remember me asking you who you are:
I have forgotten your voice.
You know my memory is not good.
and yet I miss you.

Now I hope not to forget,
and yet I need to forget,
just as you did.

man on a mission

2007-03-13T22:14:00.000+08:00

he walked always with a goal,
even when we're out on a walk,
he seemed to be going somewhere,
with me strolling beside him.

sometimes i just wished he'd stop,
and stay.

perhaps it was because he never had the chance to stop before,
there was always something that had to be done.
and now it became his habit: making things happen.

he called my name and i was crushed.
he was looking at me then.
he stopped.
I listened.

man on a mission,
rest with me tonight.

yen's birthday

2007-03-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

we celebrated yen's bday at Cantina's last friday just before the ACIL delibs for exec sec! saya super!

here are a few pictures i stole from jerry and karen's multiply!
^^,

ang birthday girl!!!

go spartans!!!

2007-03-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

nanalo kami sa basketball game namin sa PE!!!
super saya! i love my team! go spartans! syempre nde naman tlga ako magaling pero super nag enjoy ako! masarap kasama mga kateam ko!

CONGRATS MAR, orsem buddy ko at mini me at MVP namin!!!! woohoo!!!

salamat kay mar at karen for making this a memorable experience!
at kay coach cha, yen, cess, aiu at coach karl at sa lahat ng sumigaw at nagcheer sa amin!!!
thanx Lord (you, not us)

to a song i loved but never really related to, at least i thought so....i was wrong ^^,

2007-03-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

OO
by updharmadown

Di mo lang alam naiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
Di mo lang alam hanggang sa gabi
Inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang
Panahon at ngayon ako’y iyong iniwan
luhaang sugatan di mapakinabangan
sana’y nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
sana’y nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon
Ako’y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa’yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pag sinta
Kung ako’y nagkasala, patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ng ngayon lang nagmahal

Di mo lang alam ako’y iyong nasaktan
Na baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Puro s’ya na lang at sana’y ako naman!
Di mo lang alam ika’y minamasdan
Sana’y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

Di mo lang alam

Kahit na tayo’y magkaibigan lang
Bumabalik ang lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Ako’y nandito lang hindi mo lang alam

Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo
Sa laro na ito ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana di ka na lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako’y iyong masasaktan ng ganito
Sana’y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

Di mo lang alam ako’y iyong nasaktan
Na baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Puro s’ya nalang at sana ako naman
Di mo lang alam ika’y minamadsan
Sana’y iyong mamalayan hindi mo lang pala alam

Malas mo ikaw ang natipuhan ko

Di mo lang alam akoy iyong nasaktan

wala lng ^^,

2007-03-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

waaa....nag-eliminations kami kanina sa basketball!
woohoo nakashoot ako!!!!!! isa.
ngayon ko lang narealize, marunong na pala ako magbasketball!
nakakatuwa naman kasi nakapagbonding kami ng mga kateam ko ^^,

nakilala ko na rin pala si one true love ni krisel! woohoo...!!!

matapos nun, nagmcdo kami nina karen, mar at cha, tpos sumunod si jake at syempre super saya!!! mahal ko tlga i1!

at syempre, masaya ako dahil sa taong nagsabing "u make me smile just by smiling".

~~~
PS: napanuod ko na pala pursuit of happyness!!! HUWAW! ang ganda! As in! kasama ko si nicosai at super saya kasi matagal na rin kami hindi nagbobond!!!

solitaire

2007-03-06T23:49:00.000+08:00

the past few days, schoolwork has been piling up, and i'm growing this bad habit of playing solitaire when i should be doing my assignment. I just find it hard to focus on anything else most of the time. Plus I keep on making a bet with myself and every time I lose, I just can't accept it and so I play again.

yes, i'm addicted to playing solitaire. I'm officially a geek.

Well, as I was playing I started theorizing on love and solitaire....(I told you i'm a geek!) Dahil bangag ako ngayon, isheshare ko nlng ang teorya ko:

loving is like playing solitaire
~some games are not 'winnable' >>> may ibang guys na simula't sapul, alam mong hindi kayo tugma
~you play both by chance and by strategy >>> walk the path with faith and reason
~past decisions affect the end of the game >>> everything is connected, the past, present and future in a single moment (auguries of innocence)
~sometimes you almost win but don't because of one missing card that you just can't get >>> hindi meant to be

pero syempre joke lang yan lahat kasi bangag nga ako....

sige na..
gudnyt
Godbless!

sad songs - by matt nathanson

2007-03-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

I'm waiting up for you to rescue me,
To come around and cover everything,
Relying on my best memories
To breathe for me, breathe for me

So much better than all of this, all of this

I'm tired of singing all the sad songs in my head
But I can't find enough of anything to drown out what you said
And sometimes I find I catch my self letting you back in
And I'm so tired of singing all these sad songs in my head

'Cause I can still smell summer on your skin,
And I can still remember giving in
Wrapped all up in your hips, and in your sheets
Felt great falling, great falling

So much better than all of this, all of this

I'm tired of singing all the sad songs in my head,
But I can't find enough of anything to drown out what you said
And sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in
And I'm so tired of singing all sad songs in my head

I feel so faded, so far gone
That nothing surprises me anymore

I feel so faded, so far gone
Nothing surprises me anymore

Not much better now, now

I'm tired of singing all the sad songs in my head
But I can't find enough of anything to drown out what you said
And sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in
And I'm so tired of singing all the sad songs in my head

The sad songs in my head

I'm so tired

for a very beautiful song...

2007-03-05T20:41:00.000+08:00

...that makes me want to be alive

Your Song
Elton John

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Thanx to direk and marvin for loving this song

if you're gonna love me, don't love me half way...

2007-03-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

muntik na ko mamatay kanina, and ironically, life didn't seem to get brighter after my life-death experience. It was just more confusing. it was sort of funny, i could've died a brutal death. the sad thing was, I was alone.

now, i feel like it doesn't matter anymore, like I could just go, and that it might even be better...joke...haha...
(or baka paranoid lang ako and i'm making a big deal out of this...then again sobrang nakakatakot tlga iyon)

wala naman akong death wish, medyo nakakapagod lang ang araw na ito...
but i also learned a lot of things today:
1. I can be SO irresponsible at times
2. I still have good friends who truly care....thanx jake and dorz for being there when no one was.
3. Grades do matter to me...especially when i know i could've gotten higher >>>pero hindi naman ako uber GC)
4. I love my mom so much >>> alam ko na toh...mas nainternalize ko lng today.
5. I am a very insecure person
6. I'm desperately yearning for a hero or someone who'd just save me from everything i fear >>> dear Lord, let Your love be enough...
7. I miss so many people.
8. Life is just full of surprises!!!
9. Death is uncertain.
10. I am mortal >>> I'm not invincible after all...

in a way i was also thankful, cause i was able to cry my heart out...
I've been trying to get a lot of emotions out of my system lately, and because of what happened, everything just gushed out.

PS: nagtetext sakin ung guard kanina sa LRT, gusto makipagkaibgan...buti pa siya nag-aalala sa kapakanan ko, kaso pinapaalala niya sakin ung nangyari...ahaha...ohwell...^^,

Teka

2007-03-01T20:00:00.000+08:00

Kailangan ko pa ng panahon.

Patak, patak,
Pumapatak...
Umuulan.
Unti-unting bumabaha.

Ang nanuyong mga sanga,
Nasasabik uminom.

Nasamid. Nalunod.
Hindi na ngayon makahinga.

Teka, teka. Dahan-dahan.
bigyan pa ng kaunting panahon.
Kapag mejo humina na ang patak.

<<< crosses my finger

2007-03-01T19:52:00.000+08:00

I can still smell you...
and so i feel like you're just beside me.
I can still hear your voice singing.

don't give me too much attention,
I might mistake it for something else.

I'm waiting,
waiting for that sound,
hoping it'd be you...

spring awakening

2007-02-24T05:42:00.000+08:00

i'm currently listening to 'spring awakening' OST! it's really nice! it's the best Broadway musical of the year but the tracks are mostly rock songs so no hight pitched opera singer here, much like pop rock and alternative meets a tinge of emo...probably cause the music was by duncan sheik, which means many of the songs are quite sad and emotional.

the story revolves around adolescence and the passion and pains we teenagers undergo. it's all about "teenage discovery"

mejo parang rent siya, pero may certain flavor siya na iba eh, parang....parang mas malakas ung feelings of repression niya kasi unlike rent na liberated at mas may voice given the context of the story, dito may silence sa likod ng kanta....ewan...baka guniguni ko lng un. weird nga eh, kasi rock songs were used in a story situated in a time when rock n roll didn't exist yet, yet still tama lng naman, kasi the characters in the story shouts! may rebellion na nagpaparallel sa kanta....

wala lng...gusto ko lng ishare...
feel ko critic ako...ahahha