take three

muntik nanaman ako mamatay
wala ka pa rin nun.

ohwell, anu pa nga ba...

we can do better than that

i just got shot (in the heart)

and he bugged me about his C paper.

say cheese!!!

really wilted

Entry # 2.4

And sometimes when I say that death has come, it is the truth.

And it is in your death that I knew you,

And before I owned you, I had already let go.

staying alive

Entry # 2

Remember him for it is only in memory that he can stay alive.

It took me two years to know him and how dead he was, but it only took me two weeks to forget him. It was not that I didn’t love him; it was just easier for me not to feel hurt by forgetting him. It was like forgetting a beautiful but tragic dream – so beautiful that it couldn’t have been real.

It seemed surreal that I could feel his heat. I knew there was something wrong – he was cold and hot at the same time. Yes, I forgot him, but not how he made me feel. His face, his laugh, his skin, I have forgotten, but not how I cursed under my breath when he was near.

Here I am writing his story. I cannot forget how I loved him.

guhit

ginuguhit mo ang katawan
ginuguhit ko ang mukha

ang pagguhit ay pagmamahal
-paghuli na hindi umaangkin

staying dead

Entry # 1

I knew early on that you loved listening to yourself talk, so I was surprised that I still liked you. I even love listening to you talk now, a habit that has grown on me, you have grown on me. Even when I realized you talked to cover up your insecurities, I loved you even more.

It was the fifth of May when I found you all alone, listening to the sounds of people laughing, prying with envious eyes. It never occurred to me that you were dead. You were so alive. Your eyes moved with such enthusiasm that I could have mistaken you for a child getting his first bicycle ride. You had such red cheeks that I shied away from you at first. But I couldn’t hide from you, nor resist you. You must know that by now because you constantly mistreat me. Anyways, it doesn’t matter now.