disease

"kumbaga I'm cured from you"

as if I'm a disease...

well, I'm happy for you,

You'll be able to live your life as you should

and for me,

You'll finally stop blaming me for your sadness...

mysteries

nalabhan ko USB thumb driev ni ate....ain't that nice?

ayaw ko na magblog...napapagod na ko...hay...
ayaw ko na mag isip.
at syempre naiinis ako kasi bakit feel ko lost ako, ung iba hindi...
although I know that's not true...

At syempre si ******, talking about allegories, just seems to enjoy writing in his blogs...and his entries mystify me.... and it's scary in a sense...
Perhaps because his words says too much yet so little.

I love solving puzzles, but I can't seem to solve his... but I think I'm on the right track...hmm...

but some puzzles don't have answers, they remain as mysteries.

Just when I find myself, I get lost again...

I have a dilemma and direQ (with a Q) told me something that really confuses me now: "sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is to fail him/her..."
and if I do that, people will probably hate me...but somehow i think it's the right thing to do so that she'd know her actions have consequences and that she can't have her way all the time.

may be I can just scare her....wadyathink?

~~~
I lost my wallet...and I practiced losing it three times!
beat that!
Ask kuya Benjie, he witnessed it all!

~~~
I didn't know my psych test is tomorrow and that think-piece on agamben is on thurs >>> wake up call: I'm becoming too lax with my studies...
have to concentrate! have to concentrate! have to concentrate!

~~~
I have a 30 MINUTE ORALS on POS61!!!
Imagine 30minutes of talking with sir RC???
I wonder what we're gonna talk about....hmm....gays and lesbians???
may be...

Well I like sir RC, it's just that...30 minutes???!!! With about 30 students, how'd he do it? What would I say? It's really scary...(???)

~~~
I have many assignments for our band theory class in Koine, I really hope I can do everything properly. I have to manage my time well!

~~~
napanuod ko na dream girls kagabi, ang ganda ng mga kanta...ewan ko lng kung naappreciate nung kasama ko...hmp :p

i envy them...

because they have a father now...
I still don't

the resurrection

grabe, kagabi ko pa dinadasalan itong PC ko, PC tlga ito ni Ate roan pero share na rin rin kami! grabe magagalit sakin un if ever!!! e kasi ung speaker tinanggal ko kasi gnamit ko for another purpose...tpos nung binalik ko siya...nag-autoshutdown/restart siya....basta nagbreak down siya! waaa....at ayaw na niya magboot!!!

gusto ko lng itake ang opportunity na ito para pasalamatan ang mga dumamay sakin sa madilim na panahon ng aking buhay, at ng PC na ginagamit ko ngayon!

kay Rod na tumawag pa gamit ang celphone niya kasi may 'emergency' ako.
kay Kris na nagsabi sakin na safemode at restore ko ang settings ng pc ko
kay Gremon na kinulit ko lng naman at nagsabi na kelangan ko ng boot CD
Kay Pam na nagbigay sakin ng number ni gremon at chineck pa kung nagkausap na kami
kay bi na wala tlgang alam...bwahaha
Kay nico na najan palagi para dumamay
Kay nikkolo na ever technology boy at nag offline msg pa sakin
Kay Reniel na nakasolve ng mystery.
voila! nabuhay siya ulet!!!

kung makikita niyo...mejo desperado na ko kaya angdami kong kinontak...kasi lagot tlga ako kay ate!

sana hindi na naimbento ang computers...bwahahaha!!!

~~~
nananaginip lng ba ko kagabi...kung hindi, sabihin mo lang ha! ^^,

~~~
ay...wag nlng pala...hindi ko pa kaya kung totoo nga...

sacrifices we make

We had the Koine audition for the scholars this morning! I was supposed to have my orals today, but I asked maam cuyegkeng if she can give it to me earlier so i can attend the screening! I got a decent grade given the fact that I wasn't able to study well (super impulsive decision!), and it was worth it! Kasama ako sa nagscreen ng scholars sa music track! At nakakatuwa! It was like forming an intimate relationship with someone, only it's actually with a mission. Plus nakapagbond kami ni ate Caye. Kakatuwa lng.

In the afternoon, we had our last SAN MATS Teaching session and Formation session. kakapagod kasi angkulet ng mga kids, pero in the end, superfulfilling naman lalo na when they kiss me in the cheek. kaso im officially broke...negative pa nga...may utang pa ko.

After nun, nagFS kami sa Pizza hut! oh dba! free food! pero galing san mats fund un, kaya this coming sem, we have to raise more funds to replace what we had spent this year. nakapagbond kami kahit oonti lng kami! tpos angkulet ni kuya ayanken! actually lahat ng kasama ko dun makulet! sana mas madami kami sa san mats next year...

~~~
pero syempre naGGC ako, kasi i could've done better (ang ganda ng jump ko!)
but in the end, im happy!

my biggest fear now: I might fail those whom I love, including myself.

PS: hindi siya #%^$*&^...probably meant goodbye.

half asleep

I couldn't remember the phone ringing,
nor me picking it up.
I was already asleep,
you woke me up.

I just remember me asking you who you are:
I have forgotten your voice.
You know my memory is not good.
and yet I miss you.

Now I hope not to forget,
and yet I need to forget,
just as you did.

man on a mission

he walked always with a goal,
even when we're out on a walk,
he seemed to be going somewhere,
with me strolling beside him.

sometimes i just wished he'd stop,
and stay.

perhaps it was because he never had the chance to stop before,
there was always something that had to be done.
and now it became his habit: making things happen.

he called my name and i was crushed.
he was looking at me then.
he stopped.
I listened.

man on a mission,
rest with me tonight.

yen's birthday

we celebrated yen's bday at Cantina's last friday just before the ACIL delibs for exec sec! saya super!

here are a few pictures i stole from jerry and karen's multiply!
^^,



ang birthday girl!!!

go spartans!!!

nanalo kami sa basketball game namin sa PE!!!
super saya! i love my team! go spartans! syempre nde naman tlga ako magaling pero super nag enjoy ako! masarap kasama mga kateam ko!























CONGRATS MAR, orsem buddy ko at mini me at MVP namin!!!! woohoo!!!

salamat kay mar at karen for making this a memorable experience!
at kay coach cha, yen, cess, aiu at coach karl at sa lahat ng sumigaw at nagcheer sa amin!!!
thanx Lord (you, not us)

to a song i loved but never really related to, at least i thought so....i was wrong ^^,

OO
by updharmadown

Di mo lang alam naiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
Di mo lang alam hanggang sa gabi
Inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang
Panahon at ngayon ako’y iyong iniwan
luhaang sugatan di mapakinabangan
sana’y nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
sana’y nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon
Ako’y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa’yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pag sinta
Kung ako’y nagkasala, patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ng ngayon lang nagmahal

Di mo lang alam ako’y iyong nasaktan
Na baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Puro s’ya na lang at sana’y ako naman!
Di mo lang alam ika’y minamasdan
Sana’y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

Di mo lang alam

Kahit na tayo’y magkaibigan lang
Bumabalik ang lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Ako’y nandito lang hindi mo lang alam

Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo
Sa laro na ito ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana di ka na lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako’y iyong masasaktan ng ganito
Sana’y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

Di mo lang alam ako’y iyong nasaktan
Na baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Puro s’ya nalang at sana ako naman
Di mo lang alam ika’y minamadsan
Sana’y iyong mamalayan hindi mo lang pala alam

Malas mo ikaw ang natipuhan ko

Di mo lang alam akoy iyong nasaktan

wala lng ^^,

waaa....nag-eliminations kami kanina sa basketball!
woohoo nakashoot ako!!!!!! isa.
ngayon ko lang narealize, marunong na pala ako magbasketball!
nakakatuwa naman kasi nakapagbonding kami ng mga kateam ko ^^,

nakilala ko na rin pala si one true love ni krisel! woohoo...!!!

matapos nun, nagmcdo kami nina karen, mar at cha, tpos sumunod si jake at syempre super saya!!! mahal ko tlga i1!

at syempre, masaya ako dahil sa taong nagsabing "u make me smile just by smiling".

~~~
PS: napanuod ko na pala pursuit of happyness!!! HUWAW! ang ganda! As in! kasama ko si nicosai at super saya kasi matagal na rin kami hindi nagbobond!!!

solitaire

the past few days, schoolwork has been piling up, and i'm growing this bad habit of playing solitaire when i should be doing my assignment. I just find it hard to focus on anything else most of the time. Plus I keep on making a bet with myself and every time I lose, I just can't accept it and so I play again.

yes, i'm addicted to playing solitaire. I'm officially a geek.

Well, as I was playing I started theorizing on love and solitaire....(I told you i'm a geek!) Dahil bangag ako ngayon, isheshare ko nlng ang teorya ko:

loving is like playing solitaire
~some games are not 'winnable' >>> may ibang guys na simula't sapul, alam mong hindi kayo tugma
~you play both by chance and by strategy >>> walk the path with faith and reason
~past decisions affect the end of the game >>> everything is connected, the past, present and future in a single moment (auguries of innocence)
~sometimes you almost win but don't because of one missing card that you just can't get >>> hindi meant to be

pero syempre joke lang yan lahat kasi bangag nga ako....

sige na..
gudnyt
Godbless!

sad songs - by matt nathanson

I'm waiting up for you to rescue me,
To come around and cover everything,
Relying on my best memories
To breathe for me, breathe for me

So much better than all of this, all of this

I'm tired of singing all the sad songs in my head
But I can't find enough of anything to drown out what you said
And sometimes I find I catch my self letting you back in
And I'm so tired of singing all these sad songs in my head

'Cause I can still smell summer on your skin,
And I can still remember giving in
Wrapped all up in your hips, and in your sheets
Felt great falling, great falling

So much better than all of this, all of this

I'm tired of singing all the sad songs in my head,
But I can't find enough of anything to drown out what you said
And sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in
And I'm so tired of singing all sad songs in my head

I feel so faded, so far gone
That nothing surprises me anymore

I feel so faded, so far gone
Nothing surprises me anymore

Not much better now, now

I'm tired of singing all the sad songs in my head
But I can't find enough of anything to drown out what you said
And sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in
And I'm so tired of singing all the sad songs in my head

The sad songs in my head

I'm so tired

for a very beautiful song...

...that makes me want to be alive

Your Song
Elton John


It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Thanx to direk and marvin for loving this song

if you're gonna love me, don't love me half way...

muntik na ko mamatay kanina, and ironically, life didn't seem to get brighter after my life-death experience. It was just more confusing. it was sort of funny, i could've died a brutal death. the sad thing was, I was alone.

now, i feel like it doesn't matter anymore, like I could just go, and that it might even be better...joke...haha...
(or baka paranoid lang ako and i'm making a big deal out of this...then again sobrang nakakatakot tlga iyon)

wala naman akong death wish, medyo nakakapagod lang ang araw na ito...
but i also learned a lot of things today:
1. I can be SO irresponsible at times
2. I still have good friends who truly care....thanx jake and dorz for being there when no one was.
3. Grades do matter to me...especially when i know i could've gotten higher >>>pero hindi naman ako uber GC)
4. I love my mom so much >>> alam ko na toh...mas nainternalize ko lng today.
5. I am a very insecure person
6. I'm desperately yearning for a hero or someone who'd just save me from everything i fear >>> dear Lord, let Your love be enough...
7. I miss so many people.
8. Life is just full of surprises!!!
9. Death is uncertain.
10. I am mortal >>> I'm not invincible after all...

in a way i was also thankful, cause i was able to cry my heart out...
I've been trying to get a lot of emotions out of my system lately, and because of what happened, everything just gushed out.

PS: nagtetext sakin ung guard kanina sa LRT, gusto makipagkaibgan...buti pa siya nag-aalala sa kapakanan ko, kaso pinapaalala niya sakin ung nangyari...ahaha...ohwell...^^,

Teka

Kailangan ko pa ng panahon.

Patak, patak,
Pumapatak...
Umuulan.
Unti-unting bumabaha.

Ang nanuyong mga sanga,
Nasasabik uminom.

Nasamid. Nalunod.
Hindi na ngayon makahinga.

Teka, teka. Dahan-dahan.
bigyan pa ng kaunting panahon.
Kapag mejo humina na ang patak.

<<< crosses my finger

I can still smell you...
and so i feel like you're just beside me.
I can still hear your voice singing.

don't give me too much attention,
I might mistake it for something else.

I'm waiting,
waiting for that sound,
hoping it'd be you...